The General Hospital
Birmingham
Oct 29th 1914 – 10 pm
Dearest
I felt very horrid sending you such a short letter this afternoon but I know you well enough to be sure you would wish me to get as much fresh air as is possible and as I did not get off duty at all yesterday I felt a good “blow” would freshen me up.
Nurse Page asked me out to tea with her. She is a second year nurse and is the one I told you I am not very sure of. She is nice but I am uncertain of her motives – as she has the reputation of having a motive when she cultivates your friendship. However, she is a lady, at any rate by education if not by birth, which makes for tolerable companionship. She is a good looking girl and one of the House Men here, whose name by the way is Mr Wall, is rather keen on her. It is quite interesting to watch his manoeuvres to give himself an opportunity of talking to her! Mr Walker, one of the House Surgeons is engaged to one of the lady doctors on the Staff. She has a clever and beautiful face but wears a kind of reformed hygienic dress which gives her the oddest figure. One nurse here, Wanehope by name, had her best-beloved to see her this afternoon. He is in the Canadian Contingent and had come to say goodbye before going to the front and incidentally to ask her to “make it up” with him, they have quarrelled recently and she broke off the engagement. The general opinion is that she has made it up, but this only hearsay no one really knows. I saw them in the Conservatory, through which one is bound to pass to get to the Nurses’ House. He was in khaki and was looking very happy, so I hope he was having good luck.
Sister Wood heard today that her house in Antwerp has been razed to the ground and she and hers have lost all their possessions. Her brother was an attaché, but has now been made a Vice Consul. She was very sad about her house, but she would rather all her things were burnt, rather than that they should be used by Germans.
Our ward is now closed temporarily. I spent this evening in the linen room drawing threads in tablecloths for the sick nurses’ room, as Matron had not had time to come to a decision as to which ward I am to go into for the time being.
One of the Belgian soldiers gave me one of his brass buttons off his tunic before he went as a ‘souvenir’. I was so surprised, as he was a very quiet man and I did not think he would bother his head to give a souvenir. He is in the 3rd Grenadiers. I think I shall have the button used as a head for a hatpin.
Well, my dearest, I am getting sleepy and rather cold, writing in my room so will continue this another time. Your tent must be bigger than my room as you mention it is large enough to hold two. Mine could at a pinch but it would be rather like sardines.
I feel, with you, that as there is only one person in the world with whom I would care to share it, that it is a blessing that I can have it to myself.
I am dreading the time when your battalion has to go to the front, the thought makes me feel rotten, and I could shoot the Kaiser and all his military friends or fiends, whichever you choose to call them. Whatever you do you must not go without saying goodbye to me.
I am looking forward to the letter you are some day going to write me when it is warm enough to sit in your tent. I simply long to know your innermost thoughts and feelings but it does not seem to be in your power to reveal them to me in a letter. I am not blaming you, dear, because I know you write often considering the little time you have for your own, but it is so difficult to derive very much comfort for either of us from pieces of paper and the time seems long – “What though the world be cruel, cruel to you and me, Leave all to His Compassion and Sleep, my Darling, Sleep.”
This song of Henry Somerset’s is ringing in my head.
Goodnight. Beloved.
Monday night
I have an evening pass from 7 to 9p.m. and as it is pouring with rain I am not going out but am going to have a chat with you on paper. I am wondering if there will be a letter from you to me by tonight’s post.
I was awfully glad to get a few lines from you yesterday. It will be either the middle or the end of this month that we shall be having “days off” in our ward. As a rule one is not allowed a whole day on a Sunday, but I am going to ask Matron if she can possibly make an exception and explain to her that you get no other whole day free. If I get off on a Monday it means returning here early in time for a lecture at 6p.m. which would be an awful nuisance.
The only other alternative would be for you to try and get off on the Friday night and for me to ask for a Saturday off. Could you possibly do this?
I don’t think I shall ask Matron until nearer the middle of the month but let me know what decision you come to as soon as you can.
It is gorgeous, dear, to think there is a possibility of seeing you soon again, it puts new life into me and makes me feel happier in mind.
Until we get some more Belgian wounded I am in No. 13 Ward now, Women’s Medical. It is supposed to be the hardest worked ward with the fiercest Sister in this Hospital! However I don’t find it beyond my powers, and although Sister is rather a dragon, as long as I do my work to the best of my ability, I am not going to worry my head about her. I have been in the ward since Saturday and tonight after lecture she spoke quite nicely to me, the first decent word I’ve had from her! I hope it is because she finds I am not as green as I look!
We have some very interesting though sad and serious cases.
One case of Enteric which interests me enormously – Two of Meningitis – one Septicaemia – several gastric, heart and rheumatism cases. Altogether there are 38 patients in the ward and side wards. We have one suicide case – a young girl who tried to drown herself and is still bent on doing away with herself for no apparent reason. Today I found her with a handkerchief knotted round her throat with which she was endeavouring to strangle herself despite the efforts of the attendant who never leaves her bedside.
I find I can still influence mental cases fairly well. One of the meningitis cases raves a great deal. Her husband who is a Sergeant and such a ‘superior’ man is going to the front in a few days and he is broken hearted as there is little hope of her recovering her reason. I feel so sorry for him. The other day he was waiting in the passage for news of her and spoke to me and when I said “I feel so sorry for you” the poor man broke down altogether and had to go away he was so unnerved.
Another woman was brought in very ill today and is so unhappy because her husband has been wounded and is in hospital abroad. This mental anxiety retards a patient’s progress terribly. There has been an increase in the number of suicides amongst women since war broke out. Their brains cannot stand the strain of the suspense and waiting for news.
All this news about patients is rather depressing for you so I’d better change the subject.
I heard from Mary and Kathleen yesterday. Mary wrote cheerfully and says she hears from Arthur every day. Mrs Horsman has been teaching her to knit socks for Arthur. She goes to Badsey tomorrow for a week and then to her own home.
Kath seemed glad to get her half term holiday – she is preparing a scholarship candidate so is kept busy.
I went to the Cathedral to service last night – having a long Sunday as I no longer am an “extra” but have a “side” of patients in the ward which is much more interesting.
A Bishop preached but I do not know of what diocese. His text was taken from Revelations 19.6. and was chiefly about the Dean of St. Paul’s book on “Mysticism and Institutionalism”. He very cleverly worked in a piece suitable for soldiers, there being many in the congregation, alluding to those who have given their lives in this war for the cause of right and including them in the Communion of Saint’s; as it was All Saint’s Day I suppose this idea occurred to him.
God Save the King was sung with great reverence and fervour at the end of the Service. The prayers for the Soldiers and Sailors always make me feel rotten.
There was a young officer in uniform in front of me, your height and build. I did so wish he was really you and beside me instead of in front.
I will stop for tonight – dear Love and add a little later if there should be anything to answer in your letter when it comes.
God bless you – Sweetheart. All my love.
Ever your own
Mela
PS - I feel so sorry that you have to share a room with a man you don’t care twopence about. I think there is no discomfort worse, I would rather have a little cell as long as it was my own.
10 pm
Beloved.
Your dear letter to hand tonight. The latter part of it made my heart ache to be with you. Yes – it shall be as you say. I shall be quite happy to marry you after the war even if it means a struggle to make both ends meet. What does anything matter so long as we have each other? I will ask if I may have next Sunday but doubt if I shall get it. If I don’t I’ll ask for a Sunday later in the month so that your “Range” duty will not prevent you getting off. It will be very sweet to be held in your arms again – close to your heart my dear One. I simply long for you more as time goes on. It was dear of you to tell me your feelings.
